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Don’t Know What to Do with Your Life? That’s Ok!

I’m at a point in my life where I feel I should be accomplishing more than I already have. That I should be doing something purposeful and worthwhile. I know that everybody is different and we all have our own paths to take but I just see everyone around me and I feel like I haven’t done much or progressed as much as I should be. It’s frustrating honestly.

There are points where the thought of not knowing causes me to panic that I may not amount to much while everybody else is getting everything they dream of. I am completely aware of the dangers of comparing yourself to others but you know you can’t help it. It’s too easy to want what you don’t have.

I constantly worry that what I studied for in college was a waste and I look around and ask myself well – what is every else doing?

STOP.

The only person I should be comparing myself to and competing against is myself. I’ve made a lot of decisions based off what others were doing or what others wanted just to please them and I was so stupid lol.

I’ve met people saying they’ve got no clue what they want to do. I feel ya. The feeling of uneasiness about not knowing doesn’t stem from myself but from society and from people who are constantly asking me about it.


Related: Trust the Timing of Your Life


When they ask and I answer I don’t know, I get the sense that they think I’m lazy or that I don’t have goals or aspirations for myself.

That’s far from the truth.

I know I want to be successful. I know I want to help others and help them live better quality lives. I’ve got an idea of what I want to do and that helps but aside from that, I’ve got no clue.

And you know what I think causes this uncertainty?

It’s the stigma that we’re at an age where we should have everything figured out. By giving us a time frame on discovering who we are and what we’re meant to do in our lives is what causes people to settle for jobs they’re not happy in or to conform with what’s “acceptable” for everybody else.

Like, how ignorant is that?

Oh but you NEED to know what you want and have everything figured out by the time you’re out of high school or college because if not, you’re a failure.

I call total BS. Shame on you society.

We are enclosed in an educational setting up until our 20s, conformed to deadlines, all-nighters, and authority. Then one day, what, am I expected to know what I want to do by pulling it out of my ass? We’re still too young to know. Besides, our 20’s is the time of exploring who we are. To make mistakes. To make memories. And to most importantly, learn and grow.

But you know what I realized?

IT’S OK.

It’s ok not to know what you want to do, and this goes for anyone. You would know that everybody goes through life at different paces and everybody defines their own success differently.

Success is subjective.

There’s not an ideal way to be “successful.” And it can be anything. Losing weight, traveling, passing that class, helping others, getting married, etc. Just know that life is not about working towards a specific point in your life.

So you reach that point…now what?

I believe it’s ok.

Why?

Well, we have the opportunity to try new things and explore new places and that’s the beauty of not knowing…if that makes sense. We’re constantly changing and growing, so why shouldn’t our goals, aspirations, and careers change and grow as well?

There’s no rule book dictating what we can or can’t do. These changes, the indecisiveness, the experimentation, can actually benefit us in the long run. What’s the point have step-by-step instructions on how we’re supposed to live our lives when we can explore what is curious to us so that we can make mistakes and grow from them.

All I’m saying is that if you have the slightest inkling of what you want to do, great! You have something to go off of.  Even if you have the drive to figure out what you want to do or to find your purpose, well you’re one step closer to figuring it all out. If you’re like me and want to do so many things at once, that’s fine. It can be overwhelming at times, yes but it can still be frustrating not having something set to guide us.

If you don’t, there’s no need to worry. You’re not alone because there are many people out there experiencing the same thing as you are. There’s no need to panic. There should be no rush to find out. Embrace the uncertainty of not knowing cause it may lead you to something you may actually love. Make it serendipitous.

Fill yourself and your life with positivity and don’t be anxious or worried about the present circumstances. It may seem like it’ll never end. It may seem like you can’t get out of this rut or out of this hole that’s been dug so deep that you can’t see the light.


Related: How to Radiate Happiness & Positivity in Your Life


Just know, if you feel this way, you’re not the only one. I’m on the same boat as you…aaaand so is probably the majority of the population on this planet lol.

I say enjoy the process of finding out. Create those precious memories, learn as much as you can while you can, and be proud of how far you’ve come in this crazy messed up journey we call life.

We were put on this Earth for a reason. We may not know why but I hope that you continue pushing through because

ONE. DAY. YOU. WILL.

And the moment you realize what it is, all the struggles and obstacles you’ve gone through…

It would all be worth it.

Don’t worry, you’ll get there. We all will.  🙂

Don't Know What to Do with Your Life

What are your aspirations and goals in life? I would love to read them in the comments 🙂

Spread the love on FB and Pinterest. 🙂

Until next time,

Yis x

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77 COMMENTS

  • Caroline Nycek

    Awesome post! This is something I used to struggle with a lot.

  • JoeHx

    I’m in my 30’s, and I still don’t know exactly what I want to do. That said, have have settled in to a comfortable, decently paid office job, and am recently married with a pregnant wife. Despite all the unknowns and uncertainly, life is pretty exciting for me right now.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      That’s great! So good to hear that! Embrace right now and enjoy the unknown. 🙂

  • throughherhespeaks

    I was just telling my dad yesterday that I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I’m just trying to stay sane lol I was being a little dramatic, but it definitely is hard to deal with the pressure of people expecting you to know exactly what you want to do.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      I totally get you girl, you’re not being dramatic at all lol I think it’s just ignorant to think that we’re suppose to have everything figured out. It’s hard but we’re meant to experience these things in order to find out what we want to do. And I think that’s the beauty of not knowing is to embrace the uncertainty.

  • Roland

    interesting. There is so much I want to do and I know for a fact I am not even close to accomplishing the goals I have. Reading this makes me not feel as bad because only time will tell what is in store for me. Travelling, ready to settle down and start a family, learn a lot of skills, it is so much yet I feel there is not enough time because any day can be our last. Great post and look forward to reading more.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Thank you! Yeah, I think one of the reasons why people feel like they’re pressured to be something in this life is due to the timeframe of their life. We just don’t know. But I hope you continue to embrace the uncertainty and anticipate hopefully good things coming your way. The best to you 🙂

  • Bryan Carey

    I had most things figured out that I wanted to do by the time I was in my late 20’s. But even then, things changed in my 30’s and I ended up on a somewhat different course. The truth is, even with the best laid plans, you still may end up somewhere else or still not sure where to go. It happens to most of us.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Yeah, I agree. We may have everything planned out for us but sometimes there are better things out there that we just need embrace the change.

  • My Dee Dee's Diary

    I completely understand this. I had this struggle and sometimes I still struggle with it

  • Joana Marisa

    I think that I’m getting right in life pretty well, but sometimes I feel like I don’t know what to do and if i’m doing right!

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow

  • Neha Rai

    Awesome post. Struggle is the key to success in life and if you know what you need to do in your life, you can be successful/

  • atruthfultraveler

    Awesome post! I feel as though everyone struggles with comparison these days, and it is tough to not know what to do when you feel like everyone else has it all figured out.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Yeah it’s such a struggle but if we only focus o ourselves and not other’s success, then we are one step further to finding out our mission in life.

  • adventurethewest

    Great post! I struggle with this still every day. Some days I want to be a farmer, or work for a non-profit, right now I’m starting a business. It’s so hard to know what you’re “supposed” to be doing.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      I agree but the only way to know is to try and make mistakes and learn from them.

  • hleguilloux

    I absolutely agree! It can be so easy to compare ourselves to others accomplishments without honouring the obstacles we have overcome or achievements we have been able to do ourselves. Great post!

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Yeah, I struggle with that the most but we all have our different ways of achieving success and shouldn’t be comparing to others. We’re all different.

  • Bryce Rae

    Exactly..it’s about you and no one else.
    We all have different lives and circumstances.

  • Jenni

    I’m totally here with you on this. I have a hard time explaining what my 5 year plan looks like because I really don’t know exactly what it looks like – and that is ok!

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      It’s totally good to have a plan but having that mindset that everything will happen as planned isn’t the way to go. Everybody’s plan always changes and it’s always for the better.

  • kaleidoscopicmakeup

    I love this! Very inspiring! I’m 25 this year, I just graduated uni, and I don’t have a clue what I want to do with my life. It’s not that I don’t have ideas, but I just want to mess around with everything and see where it all leads!

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      That’s the beauty of it all. We’re meant to explore what’s out there and find what we’re truly passionate about.

  • wraemsanders

    Reblogged this on One Blog, One Day at a Time and commented:
    I’m 35 and some days, I STILL HAVE NO IDEA on what I want to do with my life. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.

  • takecarebyallie

    Great post! I feel you there.. I always put so much pressure on me while getting older and not being at the same stage then society expects me to. Wise words there! Thank you xx

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      We all go at our own pace. It’s ok 🙂

  • Victoria Rowe

    I struggle with comparing myself to everyone. A lot. I had a baby and the rest of my friends are working away at their careers, so I feel like I’m ‘stagnant’. I have no idea what I’m doing, but that’s ok! I’m trying to tell myself that, anyway.

    xo, Victoria
    How to Survive Valentine’s Day, From One Single Girl to Another

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Aww congrats on your baby! It’s tough to see others progress but it’s all in good timing.

  • Mommy Jhy

    This post resonates well with me! What I view as “success” as an adult isn’t the same as my view 15 years ago.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Exactly! our views and plans change all the time and that’s ok.

  • Cassie S

    I LOVE this post! I recently graduated college and post grad is not what I expected. I thought I would have it all figured out but it is actually quite the opposite. I have learned that it is okay and things take time. thanks for sharing 🙂 xx

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      I can relate to you on that 🙂 It’s hard but it’ll be ok.

  • Ben Aqiba

    Hello Olivia,

    in some point it is OK. I agree with your that we must listen only ourselves .We maybe do not know always what we want but it’s always good to know what we do not want. Keep writing

  • Katie Moses

    This is seriously so insightful and comforting. Exactly what I needed to hear right now.

  • kage2015

    So glad our kids figured out early in life what they loved and wanted to do. Alll very successful. Financialnwell off and future looks wonderful.

  • Anya

    Yes-well said! we live in a society where we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. But your journey is your own! We diminish our own experiences and lessons when we compare ourselves to others.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      It’s just better to focus on yourself.

  • Kyla Matton Osborne

    I’ve always believed that a) you should follow your own path, and b) life is a journey. you are so right that we shouldn’t compare and compete – or let anyone else tell us what we should be doing, or when. And yes, success is relative. We each value different things. Being a success means achieving the things that matter to us. But even if we can’t get 100% there, moving in the right direction is a success too 🙂

  • Yeah Lifestyle

    Its really refreshing reading your post because in life we have expectations to meet, our / others / our families / our friends. So reading that we don’t need to know what we are going to do all the time …is ok is really great.

  • Dorit

    The school system sadly is not made for preparing us to figure out what our passions are. You might get a hint at some strengths because you are good at some subject but that is about it. But then you are supposed to take some important decisions before you even really know what you will want to do with yourself. When starting my A-Levels I remember choosing Latin as a subject because veterinarian sounded like a profession I liked. But actually I am better at languages and that is what I trained in later.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Unfortunately, it’s not. Only life lessons are what molds us to figuring out what we want in life. Oh wow, that’s amazing!

  • steph dorworth

    Thank you for the honesty here! I’ve always felt bad for teens coming out of high school because it’s a very hard decision to decide what you want to do at like 18 years old. I like your point of “one day you will” because every experience we go through effects our life decisions. Great post!

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Everybody has their unique journey and there’s no need to feel bad. I’m sure you just want the best for them 🙂

  • brighteyes77au

    This is something my daughter starting year 11 faces. It’s a struggle choosing subjects when she doesn’t know what career she is headed towards.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      I say just takes classes that interest you, it may not necessarily be in what she wants to do but she may find out along the way. 🙂

  • Elizabeth O

    I love the message you are giving here, I think a lot of pressure is put on people to pick something early. I know it took me a long time to figure out what I actually wanted from my life.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      The pressure is so real! But I learned to not give in to that pressure and sail my own boat at my own pace.

  • Shoot I turn 48 next month and I am still figuring it out. Great post. I am always a work in progress

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      How exciting! I’m sure there’s so much more to learn 🙂

  • waitingforrain28

    I really needed to read this. I just finished a PhD and you would think that I would know what to do with myself now, but no. I am still just as lost as ever. Searching for a job is also SO soul sucking. I don’t know how I will survive.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Tell me about it. Job hunting is a job in itself. So draining. I feel you.

  • Martina Hzb

    Amazing blog post! This is something I think everybody is struggling a lot with!

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      You’re not alone on that one. 🙂

  • Blair Villanueva

    I was once that young ambitious, hardworking, money greedy kind of person, and i realized i was working so hard but not happy. And i stopped.
    I stopped being so career driven, and just enjoy every moment, and switch to mantra that i must not race for the money. Now i am happy!

  • Penny

    Great post! It’s definitely difficult not to compare yourself to others but in the end “the only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday.”

  • lynnette joselly

    So true! I always repeat this to myself, it’s important not to compare your life timing with someone else, there is no competition as everyone is on their own journey.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      Exactly and its so easy to do that! But we just gotta trust our path and our timing.

  • thoughtfeeder

    Life is a quest and its all about exploring!

  • xxmiksorxx

    I really needed this… dammit Yiss, you should have texted me sooner to read it. Been feeling like crap lately, but you hit the nail on this one. I feel like I haven’t done much since getting my degree. I have plans to go to law school, but what if that doesn’t work out?

  • Emily

    Brilliant advice, I’ve been facing this a lot recently. Emily x

    http://www.wakingupatnoon.com

  • Channon Gray

    Great post – I completely feel ya on the not knowing what you want to do in life feeling. It’s horrible at times as others have their whole lives mapped out but I’m just not always 100% certain! I’ll get there, as will you. Chin up, C x

  • Shannon Paige

    “It’s the stigma that we’re at an age where we should have everything figured out. By giving us a time frame on discovering who we are and what we’re meant to do in our lives is what causes people to settle for jobs they’re not happy in or to conform with what’s “acceptable” for everybody else.” YES! I have always thought the same thing. Are you kidding- I changed my major like 3 times in school and eventually settled on Sociology with a human services concentration because my friend was doing it and told me all you had to do was write an essay to get in, there were 3 internships mandatory, and you could get a job after school. I was like okay then! After college my first job bored me so much. I was constantly trying to find new things to do, thinking did i make a mistake, obsessively looking at majors and other things to go back to school for. I’m still in school lol- I first went back for vet tech and even worked in a few animal hospitals before realizing I was not interested in the medical aspect enough for me to pursue it, although I love animals so much. At this point I am doing graphic and web design because I enjoy it and it will benefit my blog as well and can possibly be a side endeavor to make extra money and I will see where they go. I got to the point where i was exhausted from “trying” to pick something and ended up just saying to myself: what am I good at, have always had an interest in, and would like to take a class and see if I enjoy? Plus now I’m like okay I just want to get another certificate or associates in something else that will make better money without accruing more loans… sorry for the long rant, I just can SO relate to this.

    • Yissel R
      AUTHOR

      No need to apologize. I loved reading your thoughts. I’m glad you relate so much because I think it’s stupid that we should just stick to one thing. Like I have so many other things that I’m interested in. Like Astronomy, cooking, biology, arts & crafts, optometry. Like it’s such a vast array of things one is interested in doing and we can only settle for one thing? I don’t think so! It’s awesome that you’re still in school cause that shows you’re still actively exploring your options and seeing what you’re really passionate about. But in the end, it all comes down to your happiness and what YOU love to do. It wouldn’t matter if you spend 10 more years in school. If it means getting what you want and love to do, it wouldn’t matter cause you’re doing it for yourself. 🙂 Thank you for your thoughts 🙂

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