I struggle with having a positive mindset.
“I can’t do it.”
“I won’t amount to anything.”
“What’s the point?”
“I’m a failure.”
“Why bother trying?”
Need I go on?
I’m sure a lot of us experience this every now and then.
It all starts with a single thought and before you know it, it becomes a big heaping mess of NEGATIVITY. I tend to cause my own anxieties, doubts, and obsessive worrying. I always thought it was inevitable to break out of the cycle of constantly coming up with fictional scenarios that are blown way out of proportion when they are merely just a fiction of my imagination. Things that I know full well were never going to happen.
All that negativity can build up inside you and can hold you back from living your life. You’ll be missing some great OPPORTUNITIES that may arise that can probably change for life for the better.
But there are ways to change that. Oh yes. Yes, there is my friend.
#1: What triggers your negative thinking?
If you find yourself thinking negatively, stop and trace it back to the source. By being able to pinpoint what exactly is causing your negative thinking, you can better diffuse the situation and focus and what’s really important: YOUR HAPPINESS.
Find something that good or helpful to overcome your negative thoughts.
Write those negative thoughts down on paper. Write them all down and then throw it away. Yes, you heard me. Throw that paper away. Stomp on it, rip it up, burn it. Do what you gotta do. You are throwing all those negative thoughts that you wrote on from your head onto paper and into the trash.
Have a dance party. Sometimes you just got to let loose and crank some tunes. Even if it’s just a party of one. Go crazy. Sing your heart out even if you’re out of tune. It’s better in the shower. The acoustics are real nice.
Talk to someone. Anyone. Nothing feels better than word vomiting to a trusted friend. Don’t feel ashamed to reach out for professional help if it comes to it. You’re not crazy. Nothing is wrong with you. Your mental health is important. You feel so much better after some deep and engaging conversation. Or having a good cry on the shoulder action.
Overall, finding something that you enjoy doing to distract you from those negative thoughts. Your overall well-being is the top priority.
#2: Don’t put so much thought into what you say or do.
Constantly worrying about what others say or what you say to others can be mentally draining. It’s easy to fall into an endless cycle of analyzing everything people say. It’s also mentally debilitating when you have to constantly be selective with your words or actions in the hopes of not offending them or giving them the wrong impression of you.
Sometimes you just have to speak your mind. Having the right group of people to listen to your struggles will understand and not get offended by what comes out of your mouth.
Whenever we violate this moral code that society shoves down our throat, we’re expected to abide by said “code”. When we don’t, we feel embarrassed, guilty, and ashamed.
More likely than not, people are more understanding than judgmental. In all honesty, people are pretty indifferent with what you say or do. In fact, people are probably in your same shoes and wondering what other people think of them. We’re all on the same boat. Let’s just ride it together.
You know, don’t go yelling obscenities in public while waving your undies in the air
#3: Stop comparing yourself to others.
I’ve preached this many times. A lot of our insecurities and negative thinking stem from comparing ourselves to others, specifically other’s success. This is the perfect breeding ground for bad feelings, jealousy, and unnecessary anxiety.
We each have our unique paths to take. Even if we have those role models and celebrities that we look up to, it shouldn’t be a reason to be like someone else. I’ve especially had a hard time with this during the last couple of years of being unemployed. I constantly would ask myself, “What’s wrong with me”?
Avoid situations that cause you to feel this way or compare to others and focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Surround yourself with people who support you and bring out the best in you.
This is your life. Its unique and you’re successful in your own unique way.
#4: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
The small stuff is…well small. They’re insignificant. There’s no need to amplify something when it’s not a problem, to begin with.
It’s just wasted energy and could be used for something more productive and meaningful.
I read a book back in college that’s literally called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson. He gives you simple ways to simplify your way of thinking and exert your energy into achieving your goals. This self-help book is very inspiring and I highly recommend you check it out. He has a whole line of self-help books if you’re curious about checking those out as well.
#5: Positive Affirmations.
Say something positive about yourself every time you find yourself thinking negatively. You can even start the day by saying something positive or even writing it down in a journal. Say it in the present tense and make yourself believe it’s true. Starting off the day with a positive mindset sets the day for success.
You can say things like:
“I have the power to create change.”
“Today is going to be a good day”.
“I can do this”.
For more positive affirmations, I found this amazing article for Positive Affirmations: 101 Life-Changing Thoughts to Practice Daily.
Another interesting thing that I found in this article is that practicing positive thought patterns is shown to change the structure and function of our brains! Isn’t that crazy? Or am I just nerding out cause I think that’s fascinating? But yeah, check out that article.
For me, it’s a work in progress. I know I’m still gonna have those negative thoughts here and there but I’ll be better prepared when they do. And you will too.
Hopefully this helps you in achieving a more positive you.
Until next time,