How to Control Negative Self-Talk

How to Control Negative Self-Talk


Our mind dictates a lot of our lives, how we perceive things, the decisions we make, or even how our life will play out.

I feel like there’s nothing more defeating, especially when you run your own business, like blogging, to have that negative inner critic make you doubt your true potential. 

Even those who are thinking about starting a blog or transitioning to being a full-time blogger, you just think how am I going to make this happen? Is this the right thing to do? Is this even worth it? Am I going to be successful?


I’ll admit that I’ve had my fair share of negative self-talk like ALL. THE. TIME and it’s a habit I’m trying really hard to break. It’s so draining to constantly be dealing with your negative thoughts racing through your head nagging at every action you make.

A lot of what affects us is how we brutally bash ourselves with endless negativity more than what is actually happening around us. We let our thoughts consume our minds into thinking that this is real. That we can’t achieve what we want in life. 

We cause our own stresses, anxieties, and self-doubts. We prevent ourselves from finding true happiness and success. You have no one to blame but yourself. Not anyone else. Harsh but it’s the truth. We’re so quick to pick out what we did wrong instead of focusing on the good.

This is what hinders us from pursuing our dreams. Our ambitions. Our goals to make an impact in the world. It’s so easy to bring ourselves down instead of pumping ourselves to succeed every day. 

Wouldn’t that be easier? It took me a while to realize that and how harsh we tend to be to ourselves. We have our off days every once in a while and that’s ok.

It’s true when they say that you are your worst critic.

But I want to change that. If you want to do the same, I’ll be sharing some ways to control your negative self-talk. It’s hard at first, but just like any other habit you want to develop, it takes time.


Don’t you ever have those moments where you find yourself with that one friend who is constantly putting themselves down all the time? And you try your best to give them all the support and positivity you can throw at them but they always manage to find something negative to say. What a Debby downer right?

Now, let’s change the roles and imagine you’re the one constantly bringing yourself down. Your friend may not want to be around such negative energy and it can really suck the life out of you.

I’ve seen this pattern a lot and I’m guilty of it myself. It’s understandable that we’re trying to be loving and supportive friends but why do we find it so damn hard to be kind to ourselves? It’s like we see ourselves as trash, not valuable to accept kind-hearted words. If we can do it for others, why can’t we do it for OURSELVES?

Even if we feel like crap, a simple smile can make a world of a difference. Before you know it, you soon start to genuinely smile without realizing it. The more you make this a habit, the easier it gets. You start seeing the world from a more positive perspective.

By simply turning that frown upside down, it triggers something in your mind to stop thinking the negative chitter-chatter in your head. You start to think about the good things in life and start to develop positive affirmations for yourself.

It’s powerful what a simple smile can do to change your mood and your way of thinking in a snap.

No one wants to be around a negative Nancy after all.


It’s draining to have to constantly be battling with your inner demons. That’s why it’s important to recognize what triggers your negative self-talk.

Be aware of your surroundings and try hard to notice a pattern as to what triggers your negative thinking. It could be when you’re with a particular friend. Then maybe you shouldn’t hang out with that friend so much. Especially when you’re comparing yourself to other people is when the negative talk creeps in. This will DEFINITELY hinder you from living your best life.

It is harsh when you’re distancing yourself from these people but at the end of the day, it’s your sanity and mental health that you’re trying to take care of. If these people are the cause of your negative commentary, honey, cut those people off. You will find genuine people who won’t bring you down and will radiate that positive energy that you desperately crave.

By knowing what triggers you, you can better switch your focus onto something positive and more productive. You want to be surrounded by people who are nothing but encouraging and positive.


Yes, we all think we have something that we like to change about our appearance to look like our favorite celebrity or to even act a certain way. Society puts so much emphasis on “you have to look like this”, “you have to be skinny”, “you have to have flawless skin”, blah blah blah.

Listen, some people may have a hard time losing weight, maybe they don’t want to be stick thin. Not everybody has the luxury of getting those high-end facials that celebrities get to achieve that dewy smooth look.

But why would you want to change a part of you that makes you unique? That makes you unlike any person out there. You’ll waste more energy (and $$$) convincing yourself that your nose should be thinner or your waist to be smaller or that you’re not as extroverted as your friend. 

You can easily waste time doing that OR you can accept the fact that you were made just the way you are because that’s what makes you uniquely beautiful.

Being able to accept your flaws and imperfections gives you the opportunity to love the skin you’re in. You’ll slowly learn how to compliment your flaws and forget why you ever talked bad about yourself in the first place.

It does take time to accept your imperfections but once you get over that bump, life seems so much brighter.


You may feel stuck at the moment. But just stop and think back to all the obstacles and struggles you had to go through to get to where you are now.

You’ve come far my friend, so why put yourself down when you’ve accomplished so much? It may not be as much as you wanted to accomplish but any little accomplishment is worth celebrating. 

Be grateful that you went through your struggles. Don’t beat yourself up over your current situation. Struggles are temporary but remember that the view at the end is pretty great.

There’s something that has always stuck with me and has been my motivation to not be so harsh on myself and to keep going:

God does not give you anything you can’t handle.


Literally. Speak it into existence.

Tell yourself, “It’s going to be a great day” or “I will not let negativity get in the way today”. It can be anything but speak it into existence because for some weird reason, it actually is a stepping stone to how the rest of your day is going to play out.

This also applies to the things that you want in life. Let’s say, “I want an abundance of success and financial freedom”.

Once you speak the things that you want into existence, it’s like you made a promise to yourself that you will do whatever it takes to make it happen.


Remember that next time you engage in negative self-talk. You can, slowly but surely, silence that inner critic and start to live life to the fullest.

What is your motivation to keep positive and keep going?

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Until next time,



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