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Self-Care & Mental Health

How to Control Negative Self-Talk

How to Control Negative Self-Talk

Our minds can be our greatest supporter, giving us encouraging pep talks and telling us everything is going to be ok. Our minds, also, can beat us down hard. Telling us that we’re no good, we can’t do it, that’s it’s impossible.

I feel like there’s nothing more defeating, especially when you run your own business, like blogging. Even those who are thinking about starting a blog or transitioning to being a full-time blogger, you just think how am I going to make this happen? Is this the right thing to do? Is this even worth it? Am I going to be successful?


I’ll admit that I’ve had my fair share of negative self-talk like ALL. THE. TIME and it’s a habit I’m trying really hard to break. It’s so draining to constantly be dealing with your negative thoughts racing through your head nagging at every action you make.

A lot of what affects us is how we brutally bash ourselves with endless negativity more than what is actually happening around us. We let our thoughts consume our mind into thinking that this is real. That we can’t achieve what we want in life. We cause our own stresses, anxieties, and self-doubts. We cause ourselves to not succeed and be happy. Not anyone else. It’s crazy to think that our mind wanders to such a negative headspace.  We’re so quick to pick out what we did wrong instead of focusing on the good.

This is what hinders us from pursuing our dreams. Our ambitions. Our goal to make an impact in the world. It’s so easy to bring ourselves down instead of pumping ourselves to succeed every day. Wouldn’t that be easier? It took me a while to realize that and how harsh we tend to be to ourselves. We have our off days every once in a while and that’s ok.

It’s true when they say that you are your worst critic.

But I want to change that. If you want to do the same, I’ll be sharing some ways to control your negative self-talk. It’s hard at first, but just like any other habit you want to develop, it takes time.

How to Control Negative Self-talk

#1: Be kind to yourself and smile.

Don’t you ever have those moments where you find yourself with that one friend who is constantly putting themselves down all the time? And you try your best to give them all the support and positivity you can throw at them because you don’t want them to feel sad or be negative. Think about it, how is it any different with YOUR OWN SELF?

I’ve seen this pattern a lot and I’m guilty of it myself. It’s understandable that we’re trying to be loving and supportive friends but why do we find it so damn hard to be kind to ourselves? It’s like we see ourselves as trash, not valuable to accept kind-hearted words. If we can do it for others, why can’t we do it for OURSELVES?

Even if we feel like crap, a simple smile can make a world of a difference. Before you know it, you soon start to genuinely smile without realizing it. The more you make this a habit, the easier it gets.

By simply turning that frown upside down, it triggers something in your mind to stop thinking the negative chitter chatter in your head. You start to think about the good things in life and start to develop positive affirmations for yourself.

It’s powerful what a simple smile can do to change your mood and your way of thinking in a snap.

No one wants to be around a negative Nancy.

#2: Know your triggers.

It’s draining to have to constantly be battling with your inner demons. That’s why it’s important to recognize what triggers your negative self-talk.

Be aware of your surroundings and try hard to notice a pattern as to what triggers your negative thinking. It could be when you’re with a particular friend. Then maybe you shouldn’t hang out with that friend so much. Especially when you’re comparing yourself to other people is when the negative talk creeps in. This will DEFINITELY hinder you from living your best life.

Think about what got you to start negatively criticizing yourself in the first place and challenge those thoughts by actively creating new habits.

By knowing what triggers you, you can better switch your focus onto something positive and more productive. You want to be surrounded by people who are nothing but encouraging and positive.

#3: Embrace your imperfections and flaws.

Yes, we all think we have something that we like to change on our bodies to be a certain way or to look like our favorite celebrity or to even act a certain way.

But why would you want to change a part of you that makes you unique? That makes unlike any person out there. You’ll waste more energy (and $$$) convincing yourself that your nose should be thinner or your waist to be smaller or that you’re not as extroverted as your friend. You can easily waste time doing that OR you can accept that fact that you were made just the way you are because that’s what makes you uniquely beautiful.

Being able to accept your flaws and imperfections gives the perspective of loving our bodies and loving the way we are for what it is. You’ll slowly learn how to compliment your flaws and forget why you ever talked bad about your body in the first place.

It does take time to accept your imperfections but once you get over that bump, life seems so much brighter.

#4: Recognize how far you’ve come.

You may feel stuck at the moment. But just stop and think back to all the obstacles and struggles you had to go through to get to where you are now.

You’ve come far my friend, so why put yourself down when you’ve accomplished so much? It may not be as much as you wanted to accomplish but any little accomplishment is worth celebrating. Be grateful that you went through your struggles. Don’t beat yourself up over your current situation. Struggles are temporary but remember that the view at the end is pretty great.

There’s something that has always stuck with me and has been my motivation to not be so harsh on myself and to keep going:

God does not give you anything you can’t handle.

Remember YOUR motivation and what drives you to keep going every day.

#5: Speak positivity into existence

Literally. Speak it into existence.

Tell yourself, “It’s going to be a great day” or “I will not let negativity get in the way today”. It can be anything but speak it into existence because for some weird reason, it actually is a stepping stone to how the rest of your day is going to play out.

Experiment with this for a couple of days and come back and let me know how it turns out.


Remember that next time you engage in negative self-talk. You can, slowly but surely, silence that inner critic and start to live life to the fullest.

What is your motivation to keep positive and keep going?

Let me know in the comments below and please be sure to share this post on social media.

Until next time,

Yis x

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